This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
