If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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