Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
