My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
