i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
