I think I died a long time ago.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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