Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
