Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
he puts the penis in happiness.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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