Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
