I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
