I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
