I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
