this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
