Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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