took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
whose parrot is this?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
