just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize