She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
