I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
