we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
