Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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