Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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