Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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