Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
