my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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