Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
