no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize