Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
apparently the secret to your success is patron
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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