Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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