The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
