another moral hangover. fuck.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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