I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
