I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
