You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
MIDGETS
????
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
