Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
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