Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
