i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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