Why are handjobs necessary in class?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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