My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize