ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
