hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize