Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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