I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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