She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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