can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
