Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
