so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
