dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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