I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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