True but thats because hes a fetus.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize