Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
