I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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