You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
