So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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