anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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