I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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