i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When are your genitals available?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
