you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
These tits shall not be calmed
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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