my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
