How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
