i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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