He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize