Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
