Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
