i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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