Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
