You're so nebulous sometimes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
